A plane talk

Well hello teeny-tiny Cobber babies! It is homecoming, and this week is crazy! We have alumni of all types coming to our Cobberland home. Students who just graduated and people who graduated many years ago. I actually just came home to Concordia from Boston, Mass., and am so excited to see everything well underway. This time of year the spirits are high. Unless you have to fly a plane to get here.

Kids, I wish I had my own plane. Like most middle children, I hate sharing things with the burning passion of a thousand suns. I wish that I could have my own plane that much.

I would never have to wait and delays could be a thing of the past. Why was my plane delayed, you ask? Well, because Hector International Airport is a group of capable individuals, they did not take into consideration the winter weather advisories, and we were still de-icing our wings at the time we were supposed to have arrived in the MSP airport. Fantastic. Please, move at a glacial pace, you know how much that thrills me. Honestly, it is Fargo, N.D. We were voted the worst weather in the United States by The Weather Channel. Winter weather advisories aren’t something we take lightly here, especially in October.

Then you have to wait to board by zone, but the people who are preferred flyers can essentially board whenever they want. For the love of all that is holy you would think they would board at the beginning so they could sit and tweet or whatever those people do waiting for the rest of us. Instead they choose to wait until Zone 2 is up and then they get mad that they have to wait with us commoners. One woman waxed poetic about Dunkin’ Donuts coffee and how us midwesterners have it wrong with Caribou. Really? Don’t dis the ‘bou.

Also, as a loud person, I can say whole-heartedly that a place you don’t talk loudly is the airport. Mind your business and stay out of the way. Unless, apparently, you are someone “special.” No lady, I do not care that coffee should have granulated sugar, while tea should use cubed. No, I do not care about how you feel about the political debates. No, I do not care about how in your home you have an Italian tapestry wall hanging that doesn’t quite mesh with your French candlesticks. Shut up, hand over your boarding pass, put in headphones and leave me and my poor self alone.

Furthermore, when I travel the world and the seven seas, I do not want the UND Women’s Soccer Team telling me about how their groins hurt because it was a hard game. I am already not happy sharing a teeny tiny space with a bunch of mouth-breathers, and then a group of howling excited women are with me? Sweet.

All in all I just want my own plane, or to learn how to apparate. So for any of you alumni who flew here to be with us, thank you (if you’ve figured out apparation, tell me how), and for the rest of you, appreciate that they came here to see your faces that are full of Cobber spirit.

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