Easy Halloween costumes: Concordia edition

jennaopinionsWith Halloween just around the corner, the last few weeks of October are crucial for finalizing a great Halloween costume. For all of the graduating students who have been diagnosed with TOTS — trick-or-treat senioritis — don’t worry. The Concordian has prepared a list of last minute costume ideas just for you.

First, we recommend you consider what kind of theme you are looking for. If you are going for the classic spooky look, the ghost of Fjelstad is a go-to. In fact, she hasn’t been seen in so long that you could probably get away with hiding in your room and watching Netflix with the candy you bought yourself at the Korn Krib. No shoes, no shirt, no head or body – no problem. You’re a ghost.

In case you actually do want to go out in public to trade in your door-knocking for candy from strangers, why not throw it back to just a few years ago when you were a wee little freshman? All you need is your beanie (check), a maroon hoodie (check) and that lanyard around your neck. Bonus points for having downloaded the ConcoLife app on your phone.

For a more creative idea, dress as the crane in front of the science building. Supplies required: a really, really long neck.

If none of these ideas appeal to you, try going as a candle – possibly the scariest of all the banned items on campus. Nothing says Halloween like walking through the dorms dipped in hot wax with your head on fire. (Note: you will most likely be kicked out of residence halls immediately, either by your pesky RA whose job it is to confiscate all contraband, or by the deafening fire alarm).

Another option is dressing up as a frozen Kernel Cobb. This once yellow corn mascot, now white and wilting, reflects not only the outside weather, but also the conditions of your heart — cold. Those who dare to look into the Kernel’s face see nothing but two beady eyes staring menacingly back beneath the unthawed, now inedible flesh.

Or, go back to your Scandinavian roots by attending Halloween as a slice of lefse. Wrap yourself in a tan-colored blanket and hope for once that you are pale enough to pass as Norwegian.

Maybe you’re looking to dress as something everyone will love? Look no further. Get naked. Roll yourself in a pile of flour. Spend four to six hours in the sauna. Viola – you’re a chicken strip.

If none of these ideas have enticed you, we recommend participating in a different holiday a few days before Halloween instead. Perhaps Hermit Day on Oct. 29 is more suitable for you. There’s really no better excuse to not dress up and ask for candy than extending this daylong celebration to a full week. Better yet, don’t even wait until the end of the month to find a holiday to celebrate. Start with Evaluate Your Life Day, scheduled for Oct. 19, but which is, in fact, every day of your life.

The costume you choose doesn’t matter too much anyway. Your student loans will haunt you enough.

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