SATIRE FROM THE SCARBROUGH REPORT In his speech addressing members of Congress last week, President Donald Trump laid out his plans for dealing with immigration. In addition to the infamous wall, which has been temporarily delayed, Trump plans to send all undocumented workers “back” to Mexico to fulfill their true purpose: digging holes. Trump said…
SATIRE FROM THE SCARBROUGH REPORT It’s not true what they say. Despite the rumors, President Donald Trump is actually pretty decent at sports, even with his tiny hands. But with his frequent trips to Maralago, Fla., Trump really doesn’t have time for playing basketball, or for creating logical security policies. That’s why, starting Tuesday, Trump…
As one of his first acts as Presient, Donald Trump has called for he immediate termination of all campus newspapers due to their outright liberal bias” and “fake” news. The Concordian regrets to inform its readers that this is the last edition the newspaper will publish. “Campus newspapers are a disgrace,” Trump announced via Twitter….
Since the 1870s, the U.S. federal government has designated just under 60 different areas as protected national parks. In addition to these parks, there are over 400 protected areas that span across all 50 states and U.S. territories and cover more than 84 million acres in total. To many, national parks are the crowning jewel—the…
The 2016 election season is one that will go down in history due to its controversy and drama, with the results of the election being perhaps the most contentious part. While Trump has become President-elect, Clinton’s lead in the popular vote has now reached close to two million votes. For this reason, many people in…
Donald J. Trump was elected as President of the United States of America, but there are still a few things holding him back. In addition to the re-energized activists who will fight against his inexcusable policies and fear mongering, one of the biggest challenges Trump will face is accepting his true identity as a blobfish….
A delightful surprise to some, and a terrifying, now-realistic fever dream to many others, Donald J. Trump will be the 45th President of the U.S. Though he failed to earn the popular vote, the U.S. nonetheless voted for a man who, on the surface, embodies the populist ideals white, working-class U.S. citizens feel necessary to…
For over a week now, we’ve known that the President-elect is none other than Donald J. Trump, and suddenly all of my previous articles seem so horribly petty. Some of you are furious, dejected and heartbroken, while others are euphoric. If you hadn’t yet gathered, I am very much a part of the former group….
There’s a funny joke floating around on the internet these days about a certain TV personality who is busting, toupee first, into the realm of actual, real-life, human issues. Now, I’m all for the open run for office. I’m all about allowing businesspeople and non-politicians to run for president but this time, I think we’ve…