SATIRE FROM THE SCARBROUGH REPORT In his speech addressing members of Congress last week, President Donald Trump laid out his plans for dealing with immigration. In addition to the infamous wall, which has been temporarily delayed, Trump plans to send all undocumented workers “back” to Mexico to fulfill their true purpose: digging holes. Trump said…
Let me start with a brief story: It was the fall of 2013, one of the first few days of school after graduating high school. My inquiry class was my first taste of college. After a few “get to know you” games, the class settled in for some background information on the class structure. I…
There’s much to be said about the excitement that comes with walking by a Bath & Body Works and seeing their yellow and red 75 percent off signs in the window — come on, we all have a favorite scent we’ve been using since the 7th grade. I’ll be the first to admit that I…
People in the United States have a really weird obsession with nudity, specifically breasts. They’re used in advertisements to sell burgers, candy bars, beer, NASCAR tickets, clothing, men’s cologne, etc. A majority of the time, these breasts are covered by the product being advertised, the hands of the woman or a man, or skimpy clothes…
According to Concordia College, the total number of on-campus sexual offenses (rape, sodomy, sexual assault with an object and fondling) for the reporting year of 2015 was three — one instance of rape and two instances of fondling. According to a study done by the Association of American Universities, 23.1 percent of undergraduate females and…
Okay, everyone, I’m finally going to write about the one faction of Concordia that really grinds my gears. I’ve been too afraid to write about them for a while now – some of them are even my friends! Maybe I just don’t understand them entirely! It’s not like they get that much special treatment! Maybe…
Sorry, but your new profile picture of you standing next to an impoverished child from a third world country doesn’t fix anything; it just makes you look ignorant. So you’ve signed up through your local church or other feel-good organization to travel to a third world country to dig wells, build shacks, and volunteer with…
The Concordia Choir traditionally goes on our 16-day choir tour over the week of spring break and the following week. We arrive back at Concordia in time for a concert that following Sunday afternoon at 4 p.m. While on tour, the Choir performs in churches and high schools. For sleeping arrangements, the Choir either stays…
Over spring break, I went on a High Impact Leadership Trip with a group of thirteen remarkable people to Detroit (my hometown) and Chicago. The trip was focused on environmental racism and social justice. We went on a tour of Detroit’s east side with a man named Rich Feldman from the Boggs Center to Nurture…
If Macklemore didn’t persuade you to start thrift shopping in 2013, it’s not too late to start. From mom jeans to recycled flannels, thrift shopping has become one of the trendiest fads in recent years. The financial benefits are obvious, especially for us college kids, but this trend benefits far more than our bank accounts….