Sex! Condoms! Concordia! There are currently two locations on Concordia’s campus that offer free condoms: the health office and the sociology department office. Let’s talk about the health office first. Kjos Health Center is open from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Monday through Friday. They have condoms available for students for free, with one small stipulation: you have to have a conversation about safe sex and abstinence with the nurse. As if getting condoms from a middle-aged campus employee wasn’t awkward enough, let’s add a quick chat about
the exact opposite thing you want to hear when you’re clearly planning on being sexually active. The only thing a conversation like that is likely to prevent is another trip to the health center for condoms. That is, of course, if the less-than- ideal hours didn’t already hinder your rubber-getting efforts. I think I can safely say that 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. aren’t notorious hours for needing a condom. Let’s also acknowledge the fact that the Health Center does not officially supply condoms. Kjos is similar to any other private clinic in that its services are not free. While the Health Center usually has free condoms available to students, this is not always a guarantee.
The sociology department has a bowl of condoms in their office free for the taking Monday through Friday in the Sociology and Social Work outer office (Old Main 314). They also have pamphlets about contraceptives and healthy relationships and contact information for local resources. Students don’t have to ask for the condoms – you can simply grab your rubber and go. There is, of course, always the fear of running into a professor while you prep for your adult activities. But, Dr. Mallary Allen of the sociology department assures that they “understand sexuality as a normal part of many adults’ lives, and [they] are happy that students are taking the condoms when they need them.” But, still, I would imagine that a run-in with a professor in that situation would be less than ideal.
So, here’s what I’d like to propose to our school: more condoms! Where people need them! I can say with almost 100 percent certainty that no one has ever banged one out in the health center or in Old Main – especially between the hours of 9 a.m. and 4 p.m. Let’s put some rubbers where they will be most convenient for students and most likely to actually do some good – residence halls. Have the desk workers put a bowl out for students to help themselves every night, no questions asked. Making an effort to make your sex life safer shouldn’t be embarrassing and it shouldn’t be judged. Okay, okay, maybe we don’t have the extra funds to provide all our students with free condoms. Maybe our $50,000 a year doesn’t factor in our sexual health. Sell condoms in the Korn Krib. At least it’s open on weekends, and at least it’s open later than 4 p.m.
And with that, I leave your corn buttered.
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