At the beginning of my freshmen year,I was on a date with a guy I met from a different college in the area. It was going incredibly well until I started talking about feminism. He asked me, “So, what kind of feminist are you? Are you the kind who hates men?” Every time somebody asks me this, I have to stop myself for a second to wonder how they could be so misinformed about what feminism is. It’s quite frustrating having to explain to people the difference between misandry and feminism. Can’t people get their information about feminism from some place other than Tumblr and Facebook? Is that too much to ask?
Anyway, misandry is exactly what many people confuse feminism for. It’s prejudice by women toward the male sex and the belief that men are inferior. Misandry displays itself in the same ways misogyny does: sexual violence, sexual objectification and discrimination, and degradation of men. For example, a man is sexually assaulted, but when he tells people about it they claim he “should’ve enjoyed it” or “men can’t get raped.” Certainly misandrists do exist and their hatred of men manifests itself in a variety of ways, especially in the United States; however, it is not even close to what feminism represents. Women who claim to be feminists while supporting an antimale agenda are ruining feminism for everyone else. They are making people who truly want to see every person treated equally look like man-haters when that is simply not what feminism is about. Misandristic ideals push an anti-male agenda while feminism does the opposite.
Feminism is about equity and equality for all people. Yes, that is including men. If you’re skeptical of what I just said, go back and read those two sentences a few more times because that came from an actual feminist and hopefully you’ll begin to believe it.
Our patriarchal society is harmful for everyone. Men certainly benefit from this social system more than women do because it was put in place by men for men, but there are ways they’re also done a disservice. In the United States, men always have to be masculine. They’re told from a young age to “be a man” and stop showing emotions because that’s what girls are supposed to do. If they’re a slow runner they’re told “they run like a girl” as if running like a girl is such a bad thing. This toxic, narrow definition of masculinity that young men are constantly being fed is harmful to them. Modern feminism addresses these issues males face in today’s society because it’s intersectional; it includes men and women of color, the LGBT+ community, the disabled, the mentally ill, and people from all religions and social classes. That being said, feminism is not about hating men. If anything, it’s a movement that benefits men like it does women, but in different ways.
It’s quite ridiculous that feminists have to justify their beliefs because it should be common knowledge that feminism is not the same as misandry. It’s also absurd that we have to make feminism about men while explaining what the movement is so everyone may finally understand. Like all the feminists who have been treated rather poorly by people for identifying as such, I’m sick of having to explain these differences to people. I’m tired of justifying why I believe women deserve to be treated like people instead of things to those who don’t even have the first clue about feminism. If you want real information about feminism, then learn from an actual feminist instead of believing memes on the internet.
Well I hate men because I feel constantly that I am not pretty enough, ever. All it seems is that men want these perfect women on the TV and magazines and I am not any of that. I’m just a normal looking human woman. I think I am attractive, but evidently that’s no enough because where are the men that want to talk to me? I catch them staring but that’s usually it. Sometimes they flirt, but that’s it. A random man asked me for a hug after a short conversation on the street a while back but after that, nothing. No can I get your number, no can we talk more later…nothing. I know if I looked like Kim K or Beyoncé I’d probably be swimming in male attention. So maybe it’s petty, but right now, I just really hate them for making me feel like some hideous freak when I know I am not. I’m not fat, I’m not disgusting and I don’t smell like garbage. Men are just into perfection, or at least women who can better present the illusion of it than myself with makeup tricks and etc. I wish I could just move to another planet.
Unfortunately, the FBI defines rape as penetration. So even at the highest levels of law enforcement, a man who says “no” but still ends up having sex is not considered to be raped. Add to this the social pressures and the way men are taught to think about sex, men can have very conflicting, even psychologically disturbing thoughts about such events that they have great difficulty processing or even knowing how to make sense of without a great deal of therapy. And when it results in pregnancy, you can imagine what a cross-load of stressors might be unleashed on the psyche, especially for those whose sexual behavior has been conservative in nature, i.e., family of origin and religious constraints.
Let´s leave aside the fact that when you say all male problems come from feminism you are basically victim blaming (men=patriarchy and all that)but please explain, if your supposition is correct, why is it that most problems men face this days can be traced, directly or indirectly, to feminist activities and campaigning over the last 50 years, or do you intend to pull a “no true Scotsman” again?
*I meant all male problems come from patriarchy.
Misandry may not be Feminism, but Feminism is definitely Misandry. There is no other way to define it. You cannot define “Feminism” without casting Men into the role of antagonists. Feminism literally depends upon men to be its foils in order to justify its existence. Feminism is a hate group. It’s time to call it out for what it is and not be silent or look the other way any longer. Their hatred of Men, Masculinity and everything related to the male is legion. It is in everything they think, everything they write, everything they say, and everything they do. Feminism is a hate group. It always has been from its earliest days in the 1840’s, through its heyday in the 1960’s, and all the way up to the present day. Feminism will always be a hate group. Feminism is a hate group in the very same way that the Ku Klux Klan is a hate group and for all the same reasons. Only their methods differ a little. Feminism is a hate group and Feminists are hateful people.
“Misandry displays itself in the same ways misogyny does: sexual violence, sexual objectification and discrimination, and degradation of men.” Not at all. Misandry displays itself when people use terms like patriarchy or rape culture or toxic masculinity. Men don’t care at all if they are sexually objectified.
http://www.truthrevolt.org/news/feminist-all-men-are-rapists
Thanks for helping me make my point! 😉
” You should always believe the woman.”
The epitome of irony: the author writes this opinion piece and then scratches her head as to why the majority of people don’t want anything to do with feminism or the 3rd wave feminism BS SJW victims it creates.
Feminism comes in waves.
Just like nausea.
Waves- like problems- comes in sets of three. Third wave feminism, it should reason, is the worst so far.
First of all , Sorry for my english.
This is not “modern feminism” it is just a wave of feminism among others.
I think if ou want to know more about feminism , do not simply rely on feminists.
Especially intersectional feminists and women’s studies that are incredibely politicaly and ideologicaly biased.
And , yes , some ideas are rooted in misandric old ideas ( See that line : by men for men ? )
They believe everything is rooted in patriarchy , they use to say the only problems men have to face is also rooted in patriarchy , they believe domestic violence is a sexist violence , they believe rapists are people who don’t know what they are doing is wrong , they believe we can analyse a society through someone’s acts , they care more about superficial diversity than intellectual diversity.They say men are taller because males use to keep food for themeselves but never talk about sexual selection which is a better explaination…
It is not about equality , it is not about truth either it is about a race on who has it the worst.Remember what Sarekeesian said ? She said everything is sexist…Because she is trained to believe so.And because being the victim of society is a pleasant position.
This article just use exactly the same arguments , the same set of ideas.
I’m sorry but This article doesn’t clarify things about feminism , it just shows us how easily their ideas spread and how people believe eveything they say… We didn’t lear anything . There are thousands of articles like this.
You know , there are feminists who don’t care about parity , who have been threatened because they dared saying men faced domestic violence , who don’t care about quotas or sexualization , who know gendered codes exists because they are usefull sometimes (looking tough is a good thing for guys when it comes to seduction or at work… Looking reassuring , you know…)
Great satire piece!!!
“What feminism calls patriarchy is simply civilization, an abstract system designed by men but augmented and now co-owned by women.” ― Camille Paglia
Feminism: The advocacy of women’s rights on the bases of the equality of the sexes.
I find that modern feminism is less about equal opportunity and more about equality of outcomes. There’s a huge difference between the two.
That’s not what feminism is. If it were, then the percentage of people identifying themselves with being “Feminist” (Low) would almost entirely match/correlate with people who believe that men and women should be equal (very high). They don’t-which means that what feminism proclaims and what it actually does is not the same thing.
Feminism is misandry, both in ideology and application, and men have every right to point out the obvious given that we are it’s targets.
Hi, Anti-Feminist. I hope you didn’t just read the title but read the article in it’s entirety. I explicitly stated how misandry is different and listed only a few of the ways in which it is displayed. With a 600 word limit, it’s a little challenging to name everything. Hopefully you read this knowing I, the feminist author, with many male family members and friends in my life, whom I love and respect dearly, is certainly not pushing misandristic ideals. Thank you for your feedback!
Misandry is derived from fear — fear of men. Some feminists have inadvertently created a narrative that men are dangerous. This is often achieved through questionable statistics relating to male violence.
Nothing “inadvertent” about it. That is part of the Feminist mission and objective.
Thank you for such a brave article. Working toward equality is a proud task, but definitions should be broadened for true equity (not just who is moving up, but who is going down). For example, feminists rarely point out inequities in who goes to prison (mostly men by far), who dies youngest (white men by far), who graduates form elite schools- the ultimate sign of privilege in our society (women by a quickly growing margin). To me, I’d trade a tiny (if at all) income gap at the top of the heap for laws that didn’t send 5 guys to jail for every woman.
@mcasey: Agree with everything you said except the “brave article” part. Writing from the comforts of your Midwest private college dorm room on your Apple product isn’t “brave.” It’s why when people like this author talk about “privilege” to others, specifically white men, they’re never going to be taken seriously.
Feminism is nothing but pushing of misandristic ideals. I feel sorry for your male family members and friends. Feminism is as bigoted as it comes. It is nothing about equality and is only about women– and man-hating. If you believe otherwise, you are woefully ignorant about your subject. And don’t forget that the recipients of all that man-hate have a right to define it too. If feminism was so benign, the difference in the definitions wouldn’t be so wildly far apart.
Feminism is a hate group by pretty much any standard you care to use. They point at their quaint “equality” definition in the dictionary as supposed “evidence” of their benevolence, when in fact it is only ever given lip service as they continuously engage in their true and actual agenda of tearing down Men, masculinity, and everything related to “maleness”. Of course they will deny this, as any hate group does, and try to rationalize it with all sorts of justifications and obfuscations, but at the end of the day their actions speak far louder than their words, and Feminists have a long history — decades upon decades worth of history — in which they have declared their hatred for Men at every turn, as they have spewed forth their vile hatred and malicious venom towards men.
When confronted, Feminists will claim that they do not hate men, and yet there is absolutely no evidence to back up this assertion. The library is full of their books containing hateful denouncements of men, hateful rhetoric aimed at men, and their hateful attitudes, opinions and beliefs about men. Feminists routinely excoriate men publicly, online, in books and other media, and even in general entertainment productions.
So, to those Feminists who claim to love men so much- I say PROVE IT.
Show me all of the Feminist love songs for men. Show me all of the Feminist love sonnets for men. Show me all of the great Feminist novels extolling the virtues of men. Show me all of the great Feminist quotes expressing heartfelt love and equanimity and kindness and goodwill for men. Show me all of the Feminist books and articles which sing men’s praises and give thanks or even simple acknowledgment to their many accomplishments. Show me the vast cadre of Feminists toiling away building things, making things, inventing things to make Men’s lives a little easier, or a little better.
Hint. You won’t find them. They don’t exist.
Feminists don’t do anything for men– ever. Unless it somehow benefits the Feminists *more*, first and foremost. The only thing that Feminists ever have for men is the back of their hand and their ugly denouncements, slanderous accusations, and their vile vilifications– including the constant daily sludge of “Women Good, Men Bad” which oozes out of every media orifice.
In contrast, Men work their asses off for Women. They work to feed them, clothe them, give them shelter and all of the comforts of civilization that they have dreamed up to provide. Men help women in their daily lives. They build things, move things, create things, they provide companionship and protection and resources for their women and their children.
Men have beaten back the savage wilderness, farmed the land, tamed the beasts, built the roads, and the cities. Men have created and invented nearly every great labor-saving device throughout history. Men invented commerce, laws, education. Men sacrifice themselves on the battlefield, die miserable deaths in faraway places in the defense of their women.
Since the dawn of time Men have written countless works giving praise to women, holding them up “good” and “righteous”– virtues to which men themselves vow to aspire — women are granted automatically. Men honor women for their accomplishments and achievements, as well as just for being women. Men have sung millions of love songs to women expressing their faithfulness and undying love. Men sing the praises of their women. They hold them up and encourage them to grow and become what they can be.
So what are the ways that Feminists express their love for men? They yell at men. Scream at men. Spit on men. Lambaste men in every conceivable manner from “The Patriarchy” to “Man-Splaining” to “Man-Spreading”. They accuse men of being “oppressors”, “misogynists”, “rapists” and “monsters”. They call them creepy, and claim they can’t be trusted around their own children. Feminists demean men, belittle men, slander men, and castigate men for every single thing that pops into their heads. They write books and articles saying that men should be killed, castrated, “reduced to 90% of the population”, put onto “reservations” to be “checked out like books”. They show men on TV to be stupid, bumbling, ineffectual, infantile, and incompetent compared to women. They’ve even made major motion pictures illustrating these themes.
And the list of Feminist “love” just goes on and on and on. To say nothing of all the wonderful quotes they have left us with, such as “I think man-hating is an honorable and viable political act”, or “all men are rapists and that’s all they are”, and “who cares how men feel or what they do or whether they suffer”. And most especially this gem “Women have always been the primary victims of war. Women lose their husbands, their fathers, their sons in combat.”
There are so many more “loving” sentiments to choose from, it’s hard to pick just one. Oh, and I almost forgot the best sentiment of all– Feminists have declared their independence from men “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle”.
I understand that women make some valuable contributions to society. But if you want to impress anybody that Feminism is about “Equality”– let’s see you dig some ditches, lay some pipe, crawl around in the sewers, put up some insulation, lay some pavement, haul some dirt, dig some coal– or any of the hundreds of things that MEN do quietly every single day, without fanfare, without complaint, and without a SINGLE THANK YOU from any of the pampered WOMEN who benefit from their service.
Feminism is a HATE GROUP and Feminists are HATEFUL PEOPLE.
You want us to believe otherwise? **PROVE IT **
— –
Let’s Review Some of those wonderful MAN-LOVING Feminist Sentiments…
“To call a man an animal is to flatter him; he’s a machine, a walking dildo.”
— Valerie Solanas, founder of S.C.U.M. (Society for Cutting Up Men), attempted to murder Andy Warhol in 1968; S.C.U.M. Manifesto (1967)
“Under patriarchy, every woman’s son is her potential betrayer and also the inevi*table rapist or exploiter of another woman.”
— Andrea Dworkin, author and anti-pornography activist; Our Blood (1976) p. 20
“[Rape] is nothing more or less than a conscious process of intimidation by which all men keep all women in a state of fear.”
— Susan Brownmiller, journalist and author, co-founder of Women Against Pornography; Against Our Will(1975) p. 5
“The institution of sexual intercourse is anti-feminist.”
— Ti-Grace Atkinson, author, president of New York NOW and founder of the October 17th Movement; Amazon Odyssey (1974) p. 86
“I feel that ‘man-hating’ is an honorable and viable political act, that the oppressed have a right to class-hatred against the class that is oppressing them.”
— Robin Morgan, author and editor for Ms. Magazine; Going Too Far (1978) p. 178
“Being a housewife is an illegitimate profession… The choice to serve and be protected and plan towards being a family-maker is a choice that shouldn’t be. The heart of radical feminism is to change that.”
— Vivian Gornick, author and educator at The New School; The Daily Illini (25 April 1981)
“I feel what they feel: man-hating, that volatile admixture of pity, contempt, disgust, envy, alienation, fear, and rage at men … for the men women share their lives with — husbands, lovers, friends, fathers, brothers, sons, co-workers.”
— Judith Levine, author and political activist; My Enemy, My Love (1992) p. 3
“There are times when a woman reading Playboy feels a little like a Jew reading a Nazi manual.”
— Gloria Steinem, journalist and activist, co-founder of Ms. Magazine, prominent figure of second-wave feminism; McCall’s (October 1970)
“And if the professional rapist is to be separated from the average dominant heterosexual [male], it may be mainly a quantitative difference.”
— Susan Griffin, author and recipient of the MacArthur grant and an Emmy for the play Voices; Rape: The All-American Crime; Ramparts Magazine (1971) p. 30
“I believe that women have a capacity for understanding and compassion which man structurally does not have, does not have it because he cannot have it. He’s just incapable of it.”
— Barbara Jordan, United States Representative of Texas; Running as a Woman (1994) p. 266
“Women have always been the primary victims of war. Women lose their husbands, their fathers, their sons in combat. Women often have to flee from the only homes they have ever known.”
— Hillary Clinton, American diplomat and former senator; First Ladies’ Conference on Domestic Violence, El Salvador, 1998
“If life is to survive on this planet, there must be a decontamination of the Earth. I think this will be accompanied by an evolutionary process that will result in a drastic reduction of the population of males.”
— Mary Daly, philosopher and former professor at Boston College (women’s studies and others); “No Man’s Land”; What Is Enlightenment? (Fall/Winter 1999)
“The proportion of men must be reduced to and maintained at approximately 10% of the human race.”
— Sally Miller Gearhart, author and former professor of women’s studies at San Francisco State University; The Future — If There Is One — Is Female (1981)
“Women have very little idea of how much men hate them.”
— Germaine Greer, author, journalist and former lecturer at the University of Warwick; The Female Eunuch(1970) p. 279
“Rape represents an extreme behavior, but one that is on a continuum with normal male behavior within the culture.”
— Mary Koss, researcher and professor of psychology at Kent State University; Sexual Experiences Survey(1982)
“We have long known that rape has been a way of terrorizing us and keeping us in subjection. Now we also know that we have participated, although unwittingly, in the rape of our minds.”
— Gerda Lerner, former professor of women’s studies at the University of Wisconsin–Madison, helped found the field of Women’s History; The Creation of Patriarchy, Volume 1 (1986) p. 225
“As long as some men use physical force to subjugate females, all men need not … He can beat or kill the woman he claims to love; he can rape women … the vast majority of men in the world do one or more of the above.
— Marilyn French, author and lecturer, advisor to Al Gore’s presidential campaign; The War Against Women(1992) p. 182
“[The falsely accused] have a lot of pain, but it is not a pain that I would necessarily have spared them. I think it ideally initiates a process of self-exploration. ‘How do I see women?’ ‘If I did not violate her, could I have?’ … Those are good questions.”
— Catherine Comins, assistant dean of students at Vassar College; TIME Magazine (June 3 1992)
“Politically, I call it rape whenever a woman has sex and feels violated.”
— Catharine MacKinnon, philospher and professor at three universities, presently University of Michigan; A Rally Against Rape (1981)
“Feminist consciousness is consciousness of victimization … to be aware of an alien and hostile force outside of oneself … For some feminists, this hostile power is ‘society’, or ‘the system’; for others, it is simply men.”
— Sandra Bartky, professor of philosophy and gender studies at the University of Illinois; Femininity and Domination (1990) p. 15
“Heterosexuality is a die-hard custom through which male-supremacist institutions insure their own perpetuity and control over us. Women are kept, maintained and contained through terror, violence, and spray of semen.”
— Cheryl Clarke, author and former educator and dean of students at Rutgers University; Words of Fire (1995) p. 244
“If the classroom situation is very heteropatriarchal–a large beginning class of 50 to 60 students, say, with few feminist students–I am likely to define my task as largely one of recruitment … of persuading students that women are oppressed.”
— Joyce Trebilcot, author and former professor of philosophy and women’s studies at Washington University; Who Stole Feminism (1994) p. 92
“To call a man an animal is to flatter him; he’s a machine, a walking dildo.”
— Valerie Solanas, founder of S.C.U.M. (Society for Cutting Up Men), attempted to murder Andy Warhol in 1968; S.C.U.M. Manifesto (1967)
“Under patriarchy, every woman’s son is her potential betrayer and also the inevi*table rapist or exploiter of another woman.”
— Andrea Dworkin, author and anti-pornography activist; Our Blood (1976) p. 20
“[Rape] is nothing more or less than a conscious process of intimidation by which all men keep all women in a state of fear.”
— Susan Brownmiller, journalist and author, co-founder of Women Against Pornography; Against Our Will(1975) p. 5
“The institution of sexual intercourse is anti-feminist.”
— Ti-Grace Atkinson, author, president of New York NOW and founder of the October 17th Movement; Amazon Odyssey (1974) p. 86
“I feel that ‘man-hating’ is an honorable and viable political act, that the oppressed have a right to class-hatred against the class that is oppressing them.”
— Robin Morgan, author and editor for Ms. Magazine; Going Too Far (1978) p. 178
“Being a housewife is an illegitimate profession… The choice to serve and be protected and plan towards being a family-maker is a choice that shouldn’t be. The heart of radical feminism is to change that.”
— Vivian Gornick, author and educator at The New School; The Daily Illini (25 April 1981)
“I feel what they feel: man-hating, that volatile admixture of pity, contempt, disgust, envy, alienation, fear, and rage at men … for the men women share their lives with — husbands, lovers, friends, fathers, brothers, sons, co-workers.”
— Judith Levine, author and political activist; My Enemy, My Love (1992) p. 3
“There are times when a woman reading Playboy feels a little like a Jew reading a Nazi manual.”
— Gloria Steinem, journalist and activist, co-founder of Ms. Magazine, prominent figure of second-wave feminism; McCall’s (October 1970)
“And if the professional rapist is to be separated from the average dominant heterosexual [male], it may be mainly a quantitative difference.”
— Susan Griffin, author and recipient of the MacArthur grant and an Emmy for the play Voices; Rape: The All-American Crime; Ramparts Magazine (1971) p. 30
“I believe that women have a capacity for understanding and compassion which man structurally does not have, does not have it because he cannot have it. He’s just incapable of it.”
— Barbara Jordan, United States Representative of Texas; Running as a Woman (1994) p. 266
“Women have always been the primary victims of war. Women lose their husbands, their fathers, their sons in combat. Women often have to flee from the only homes they have ever known.”
— Hillary Clinton, American diplomat and former senator; First Ladies’ Conference on Domestic Violence, El Salvador, 1998
“If life is to survive on this planet, there must be a decontamination of the Earth. I think this will be accompanied by an evolutionary process that will result in a drastic reduction of the population of males.”
— Mary Daly, philosopher and former professor at Boston College (women’s studies and others); “No Man’s Land”; What Is Enlightenment? (Fall/Winter 1999)
“The proportion of men must be reduced to and maintained at approximately 10% of the human race.”
— Sally Miller Gearhart, author and former professor of women’s studies at San Francisco State University; The Future — If There Is One — Is Female (1981)
“Women have very little idea of how much men hate them.”
— Germaine Greer, author, journalist and former lecturer at the University of Warwick; The Female Eunuch(1970) p. 279
“Rape represents an extreme behavior, but one that is on a continuum with normal male behavior within the culture.”
— Mary Koss, researcher and professor of psychology at Kent State University; Sexual Experiences Survey(1982)
“We have long known that rape has been a way of terrorizing us and keeping us in subjection. Now we also know that we have participated, although unwittingly, in the rape of our minds.”
— Gerda Lerner, former professor of women’s studies at the University of Wisconsin–Madison, helped found the field of Women’s History; The Creation of Patriarchy, Volume 1 (1986) p. 225
“As long as some men use physical force to subjugate females, all men need not … He can beat or kill the woman he claims to love; he can rape women … the vast majority of men in the world do one or more of the above.
— Marilyn French, author and lecturer, advisor to Al Gore’s presidential campaign; The War Against Women(1992) p. 182
“[The falsely accused] have a lot of pain, but it is not a pain that I would necessarily have spared them. I think it ideally initiates a process of self-exploration. ‘How do I see women?’ ‘If I did not violate her, could I have?’ … Those are good questions.”
— Catherine Comins, assistant dean of students at Vassar College; TIME Magazine (June 3 1992)
“Politically, I call it rape whenever a woman has sex and feels violated.”
— Catharine MacKinnon, philospher and professor at three universities, presently University of Michigan; A Rally Against Rape (1981)
“Feminist consciousness is consciousness of victimization … to be aware of an alien and hostile force outside of oneself … For some feminists, this hostile power is ‘society’, or ‘the system’; for others, it is simply men.”
— Sandra Bartky, professor of philosophy and gender studies at the University of Illinois; Femininity and Domination (1990) p. 15
“Heterosexuality is a die-hard custom through which male-supremacist institutions insure their own perpetuity and control over us. Women are kept, maintained and contained through terror, violence, and spray of semen.”
— Cheryl Clarke, author and former educator and dean of students at Rutgers University; Words of Fire (1995) p. 244
“If the classroom situation is very heteropatriarchal–a large beginning class of 50 to 60 students, say, with few feminist students–I am likely to define my task as largely one of recruitment … of persuading students that women are oppressed.”
— Joyce Trebilcot, author and former professor of philosophy and women’s studies at Washington University; Who Stole Feminism (1994) p. 92
Correction, the quote should read ““reduced to 10% of the population”… Otherwise your exactly right. Doesn’t seem a response from the author of the article is forth coming.
Thank you for the long list of what feminism is ALL about. This is what feminism preaches. These are the kinds of policies and laws that feminism promotes. This is what feminism teaches in women’s studies programs in universities. This is the hate group that feminism is.